In celebrating sixteen years of our relationship, I took my wife to the salon so she could make her hair and refresh her enduring feminine charm. She wanted the tiny braids and hell, you know how it takes ages to have that done. I was patient with her and though I had a lot on hand for the weekend, I sat comfortably in a corner and fixed my eyes on the moving vehicles outside while a swarm of stylists descended on her.
Not all men wear pants!
Minutes later, some man came in with his wife (obviously). He looked very angry and the salon’s ambiance seemed to irritate him. Then, the pleasant bevy of warm stylists about the place somehow made matters worse as they collectively made to offer him a seat with their flashy, white teeth.
He pulled it off, grinned, spat, dashed out in a hurry, and zoomed off in his car like if he didn’t, his oxygen for the day shall be seized. I smiled and returned to the moving cars.
All men aren’t the same and I know you know that. I may visit a beauty salon with my wife and hang in there the whole day (good boy mode activated), but some other men won’t dare! In other words, Men are of the same physical frame, but our perception can be very different and planets apart.
Still, men are the same, all the same.
Now, though we men are different folks, the fact remains that we are all related by some distinct generic traits.
For instance, that man at the salon definitely never will want to share his woman with another man, just as I never will too. This is a generic trait, despite our differences. This is so because, in every relationship, every man (including yours) is proud by design to have a particular woman to claim all to himself. That attribute has been infused in every man’s DNA since inception right from heaven’s human creation factory!
So in your relationship, your man may like jazz music, while I love hip-hop as we are different folks, but certainly, he won’t want me to take you to bed, just as I won’t approve of him taking mine. On that – by design – we share that particular attribute. Got that?
All men are just five same things!
In this post, I will share with you three generic attributes common to ALL men – yours, me, your pastor, your somewhat annoying neighbor, Will Smith, and Donald Trump!
Why do you need this?
Simple. Because you need to add more tools to your ‘relationship perfect’ toolbox!
I think mastering these three is as good as unlocking a man’s heart and keeping the light of love burning to no end in your relationship.
1. The Quest for a ‘pillow woman’ trait
Imagine the features of a pillow. Think of the succulence, companionship (remember the hugs and pillow cries), softness, peace, neatness, and the attractive robe (pillowcase) you make it wear.
All men want the pillow kind of a woman to pamper. It is a way men feel good about their relationship. Believe me, it’s part of every man’s DNA and can be a source of strength for many a man to thrive. A man naturally would want to feel the soft side of his wife. You may not know it helps him confirm you are indeed the weaker sex and so, he is the pack of bones who provides protection and care.
My advice: strive to be a beautiful woman inside out. Don’t be rigid and steel-like. Don’t stand tall up to his height. Be soft in your conversations and let him SEE it clearly by your actions that he is THE MAN paddling your boat. Be his baby who needs his care and in return, earn his pampering. No matter his type of man, this trait is innate in all men and it’s yours to explore for your good.
2. A logical sense of reasoning
A woman thinks with her heart. A man thinks with his head! You will agree with me that it’s more of a woman to have the love of her family and its wellbeing at heart more than the man. The man just wants to think through how to provide. To deliver on that task, all men would be found to be logical in their approach to life.
All men reason logically. All important things in a man’s life are stored up in a sensitive part of his brain. They manifest as carefully weighed thoughts and with all the bits, that is, you, the kids, money…, fighting for breath.
You may have noticed that your man has his left-alone, silent moments he does his assessment of everything that matters. Sometimes, he will run his thoughts through the beginning of your relationship to the present, even evaluating you A to Z in the process, and in the end, he will present the ‘how far so good’ report just as his thoughts have gathered.
If the report is on a clean note, the relationship is boosted. If it is not, it reflects in his actions towards you. This is a generic attribute of all men.
My advice: be conscious of this trait in your man and work hard to enhance your strengths and filter out your weaknesses. Interestingly, a woman’s strength is often a man’s weakness. Your strength is his weakness. And that is a plus for you.
3. The temptation syndrome
All men are prone to temptation. By that, I mean having the natural weakness to be lured away by another woman. Adam did not fall for the devil’s temptation. He fell for a woman’s temptation. David in the Bible got lured away by Bathsheba’s naked appearance and took her to bed. And Bill Clinton had one time got his finger burnt too.
Woman temptation is a major component of every man’s DNA and the reason cannot be far-fetched. Emptiness, the quest for varieties and adventure, and self-derived imageries of a woman are most times the reasons.
My advice: Dominate his thoughts by enhancing your feminine charm and coming deep closer. Dominate his thoughts, but never try to dominate him. And here is the bitter pill: learn to always look away when he falls for the hook!
Sorry, that hurts. But this is why I say that.
Some things happen in life that are beyond our control. If he fell, if he is yours, he will rise again. And when he does, you should be in the right frame of mind and emotion to help him get back on track and focus again. You cannot do that when you are broken-hearted or on fire. Worst still, if you won’t play the angel, most likely some other woman will. And most likely the same woman that threw the bait!
Read my post, Fast Relief for Unexpected Killer Shocks in Your Relationship here, and see how a woman got her groove back.
See you soon, love.
NB: My wife and the woman whom her husband dropped at the salon eventually made friends and we dropped her very close to her home later. Her darn gone husband did not come to pick her.