I recently took my wife to the salon so she could make her hair. She wanted the tiny braids and hell, you know how it takes ages to have that done. I was patient with her and though I had a lot on hand for the weekend, I sat comfortably in a corner and fixed my eyes on the moving vehicles outside while a swarm of stylists descended on her.
Not all men wear pants!
Minutes later, some man came in with his wife (very obviously). He looked very angry and the salon ambience irritated him. Then, the pleasant bevy of warm stylists everywhere somehow made matters worse as they collectively made to offer him a seat with their flashy, white teeth.
He pulled it off, grinned, dashed out in a hurry, and zoomed off in his car like if he didn’t, his oxygen for the day shall be seized. I smiled and returned to the moving cars.
All men aren’t the same and I know you know that. I may visit a beauty salon with my wife and hang in there the whole day (good boy mode activated), but some other men won’t dare! In other words, Men are of the same frame, but our perception, very different and planets apart.
Still, men are the same, all the same.
Now, though we men are different folks, the fact remains that we are all related by some distinct generic attributes.
For instance, that man at the salon definitely never will want to share his woman with another man, just as I never will too. This is a generic attribute, despite our differences. This is so because in every relationship, every man (including yours) is proud by design to have a particular woman to claim all to himself. That attribute has been infused in every man’s DNA since inception, right from heaven’s human creation factory!
So in your relationship, your man may like jazz music, while I love hip-hop as we are different folks, but certainly, he won’t want me to take you to bed, just as I won’t approve of him taking mine. On that – by design – we share that particular attribute. Got that?
All men are just five same things!
In this post, I will share with you three generic attributes common to ALL men – yours, me, your pastor, that crush of yours, the guy next door, and Donald Trump!
Why do you need this?
Simple. Because you need to add more tools to your ‘relationship perfect’ toolbox! Then, add the last three words in the post’s title!
I think mastering these three is as good as unlocking a man’s heart and keeping the light of love burning to no end in your relationship.
1. The Quest for a ‘pillow woman’
Imagine the features of a pillow. Think of the succulence, companionship (remember the hugs and pillow soft cries), softness, peace, neatness, and the attractive robe (pillowcase) you make it wear.
All men want the pillow kind of a woman to pamper. It is one way men feel good about their relationship. Believe me, it’s part of every man’s DNA and always a source of strength a man needs to thrive. Your man naturally will want to complement your efforts toward making your relationship a lasting one. But you will need to augment your feminine charm. Borrow from a pillow!
My advice: strive to be a beautiful woman inside out. Don’t be rigid. Don’t stand tall up to his height. Be soft in your conversations and let him SEE it clearly by your actions that he is THE MAN paddling your boat. Be his baby to care for and in return, earn his pampering. No matter his type of man, I believe his soft side will connect with that very side of you.
2. A logical sense of reasoning
Women think with their heart. Men think with the head! You will agree with me that It’s about a woman to have the love of her family and its wellbeing at heart more. The man just wants to think through how to provide. To get through that, we will choose to be logical.
All men reason logically. All of your man’s life is stored up in a sensitive part of his brain. They manifest as carefully weighed thoughts and with all the bits (you, the kids, money) fighting for breath.
Your man has special silent moments he does an assessment of you. He will think through the beginning of your relationship to the present, dissecting your strengths and weaknesses. Then at the end, he will present the ‘how far so good’ report just as his thoughts has gathered.
If the report is on a clean note, the relationship is boosted. If it is not, it reflects in his actions towards you. This is a generic attribute of all men.
My advice: be conscious of this feature in your man and work hard to enhance your strengths and filter out your weaknesses. Interestingly, a woman’s strength is often a man’s weakness. Your strength is his weakness. And that is a plus for you.
3. The temptation syndrome
All men are prone to temptation. By that I mean having the natural weakness to be lured away by a woman. Adam did not fall for the devil’s temptation. He fell for his woman’s temptation. David got lured away by Bathsheba’s naked appearance and took her to bed. And Bill Clinton got hooked by Monica Lewinsky.
Woman temptation is a major component of every man’s DNA and the reason cannot be far-fetched. Emptiness, the quest for varieties and adventure, and self-derived imageries of a woman are most times the reasons.
My advice: Dominate his thoughts by enhancing your feminine charm and coming deep closer. Dominate his thoughts, but never try to dominate him. And here is the bitter pill: learn to always look away when he falls for the hook!
Sorry that hurts. But this is why I say that.
Some things happen in life that are beyond our control. If he fell, if he is yours, he will rise again. And when he does, you should be in the right frame of mind and emotion to help him get back on track and focus again. You cannot do that when you are broken-hearted or on fire. Worst still, if you won’t play the angel, most likely some other woman will. And most likely the same woman that threw the bait!
Read my post Fast Relief for Unexpected Killer Shocks in Your Relationship here and see how a woman got her groove back.
See you soon, love.
NB: My wife and the woman whom her husband dropped at the salon eventually made friends and we dropped her very close to her home later. Her darn gone husband did not come to pick her.