All relationships are prone to killer-shocks. You know, when you find what you don’t expect in the last place at the most unbelievable moment and worst still, much unprepared for it. Men can subject women to killer shocks when they do the most unbearably impossible and so do women, and you just don’t know who is best at it.
What are killer shocks?
A lot relationships end on a sad note, killer-shocks being the catalyst. I call them KILLER SHOCKS because they are relationship-connected and terribly threatening. Killer-shocks feast on the emotion. They are unpleasant surprises conditioned by one of the two people in a relationship and bore in shock by the other, resulting in battered emotion and leading to a demoralized state of mind.
Maybe some time ago you experienced a killer-shock in your relationship and it hurt so bad you can’t stand being hit by another one; or maybe you never did, but you dread the thought of it.
I think I might be able to help both ways.
Two factors that help you manage possible killer-shocks in a relationship
Honestly speaking, I had my mind on a different topic other than helping you tame this shark. But I was moved to change gear after I heard Gloria’s true life experience. Not just for the experience, but most importantly, for the insight I could milk out of her story to help other women get out of possible killer-shocks.
You can confront relationship killer-shocks fearlessly. Gloria did it. And that’s all the reason why you too can. From what I picked from Gloria’s experience, it’s all about you living by these two life principles:
1. Being able to accept nature as some kind of PLUS or MINUS donor and which has control over what one gets in life, be it positive, or negative, and;
2. Being able to mentally see the sweeter side of life and embrace the sweetness therein.
I will expatiate on those two after we read Gloria’s story.
Gloria’s hubby had an appointment to catch up with in Johannesburg and to enjoy the six day trip, he decided to jet out of the country with a handy bag, some hippy, full-of-life university babe who fitted the fun he looked forward to.
No sooner had the two been dropped off at the airport, just about departure time, the man felt a hand on his shoulder and turning around, there, standing height to height in his face was his wife, Gloria, just arriving from the States.
She cheerfully greeted the two and interestingly hung in there to chat away with the girl who on her part didn’t know who she was. Relaxed, they gossiped about everything feminine. That done, she bade them farewell and then left the scene like nothing happened.
How Gloria won the big prize
A day later, deeply troubled, but marveled by his wife’s display of maturity, the man hurriedly sent home from Johannesburg a large pink-ribbon box of scented roses. Sunk beneath the roses was a set of lingerie, a teddy bear, an enticing collection of perfumes and with a note that read. I’m sorry, deeply sorry.
Gloria did not waste her time pondering about anything; neither did she deem it necessary to boil on, ahead of his return. She had since resolved that to live life, in good condition of health, a woman must have a talent of storing up the stamina to bear the unexpected in everything life has to give.
So in return, she responded by taking her picture in the sexiest of the lingerie and sent it back to him in Johannesburg with a note that read: Naughty-Naughty, with this body you don’t need hanky-panky! She didn’t confront him over the incident thereafter and never took any action whatsoever.
Now, what if you were Gloria?
Did you just scream?
Bet you, bumping into your other half at the airport and about to jet out of the country with another woman is not what you might want to let go; worse still, with the ‘thing’ being a girl who dumped school to play romance-doll over the seas.
Your head swells up, your anger ignited, and possibly you want all the planes at the airport grounded. You want the girl pushed into a moving train, and you sure want to call Gloria, ‘stupid’.
I’m not going with you if you go that direction. I will rather say Gloria’s actions will earn her some respect so tough to earn. Her approach was all she needed to pinch her hubby’s conscience and possibly caution him. That direction my arrow will turn!
How Gloria managed her killer-shock.
Now, here we are:
Remember I said I featured this masterpiece because I could milk out some valuable lessons you will need. Well, this is the moment.
I discovered there are two super qualities that make Gloria very thick. They are just about what you need to stay ahead, if only you will engage them. I really want you to.
1. Gloria is absorbent.
She is able to soak-up the killer-shock that confronted her unexpectedly without losing her balance.
You ask me how she could do that.
I say basic instinct! And being smart enough to have accepted nature since a million years ago as some
kind of PLUS or MINUS donor, with control over what one gets in life, POSITIVE or NEGATIVE. Remember that?
Your fast relief: how you should manage yours.
Start viewing life as some sort of plus or minus, positive and negative. It will help you stand prepared for the worst in your relationship. When that registers, you will be tough-skinned and be able to erect a strong, protective wall around your emotion. If you view nature this way, you will build that super stamina within you and be able to guard against hurtful feelings when things go wrong in your relationship.
2. Gloria is totally in control of her emotions.
Though unprepared, Gloria developed her own script and acted in a minimal cast movie without creating a scene at the airport, being the director, producer, and the same time, the movie star! Chatting with the other lady without revealing her identity is emotion well managed.
How she did that?
The ability to mentally see the broader, sweeter side of life and embrace the sweetness therein…..!
Your fast relief: how you should manage yours.
Life is too broad and indeed, sweet for you to nurse negative emotions over what you can’t place your hand on.
There are a lot beautiful things about life you rather not miss, even when your relationship seems like heaven; like good times with your kids, a holiday in the Scandinavians, making friends on Facebook, sharing pictures on Instagram, being there when your beloved country wins the World Cup, garnished smoked rabbit prepared by a seasoned Italian chef, a hairdo that turns you into a billboard for who cares, and attending church!
So then, why split your emotion? Why not just look away and embrace the sweeter side of life for the moment. Doing that will help you get the uglies off your mind. Sooner than you expect, the wound will heal.
3. Gloria’s beautiful robe of silence
Silence is strength. Gloria didn’t confront her husband afterwards and never took any action whatsoever. This is amazing! You don’t want to agree with that I know, but I say that’s the joker card!
Of course, I don’t mean the type of silence that worsens the situation. Elitedaily.com published a beautiful post on the 4 types of silence that are bad for your relationship. Read it here.
Also, read this post on California psychic to let you see the need to understand the power of silence.
You may not know this: most men will be seriously mindful of a ‘deliberately silent’ woman, after being caught on the wrong lane. He just doesn’t know what’s on your mind and what is to come next. He wants to appease you and have his peace back as fast as yesterday. That is one thing about men most women don’t know. Learn to use silence tactically in your relationship. It works.
When a killer-shock is what nature decides to push to you, be bold to face it like Gloria did. It will hurt (and honestly, Gloria said it hurt), but it will fade away if you engage these principles.
Look away. Look out for the other big things at that very moment that make you happy. Enjoy the sweeter side of life in the meantime. Don’t playback. Don’t play pranks. Discuss the situation in your relationship with God. He is always all ears and willing to help.
(NB: Please leave a comment. I am anxious to hear from you.)